i really feel that i'm losing a best friend

she's ana . she has her life in order. she has a bf - she's smart and pretty and I can't tell her my life feels like it's crashing.

Our every conversation revolves around the BF - an entity I met only once but felt like I grew up with.

I'm not into hands on friendships where we talk everyday and stuff but sometimes I'd like her to know about me too.

My weight is spiraling thankz to a lack of self control coupled with idle days in the company of the parents.

I just feel so friggin ugly. It's frustrating when your own paranoia gets in the way of you living your life - though its not like I'd ever tell the people I need to tell, what I need to tell them ...

they say you don't know what life brings but for most of us its pretty predictable - and I've always been a good guesser.

We are growing apart - and it hurts like hell

control

ok so ppl have a tendency to only support "positive" things deny anything with "negativity " or else act like its unaceptable.

Me - I kinda sway on the inbetween.

Sure I have certain core values but then I also have an objective view bout most others.

I agree that extreme cases of ana are a bit disturbing and one way to singlehandedly kill yourself

but i also find that in ana there is control. rigid control.

to deny your own body's cravings is like watching a tiger trying to attack you and not trying to run

I think its kinda brave.

I also think that people who have an opinion which they need to voice directly to a person with ana should shove their fist in their mouth and walk away.

For me labels are annoying . Two pounds more and your over weight, ten pounds more and your obese five pounds less and your healthy, twelve pounds less and your underweight. I think these anonymous labels are pissing me off or else the people who judge your entire existance on one .

i'm gonna go redecorate me room in smiley face stickers now.

I murdered santa..

OK I have the daily pleasure of enduring 8 hours of Christmas music everyday since the Christmas season officially began i.e. since after divali. Seriously its annoying and my boss shows no sign of stopping.I dont get why we in the Caribbean put up images of that overweight- pedo- with -a -whip all over the damn place. I mean it's a huge culture clash here. In Trinidad ho-ho-ho is three sketelle female walking down the road. The only time we ever see a reindeer is after its been seasoned and cooked and it ain't got no chimney to slide down so if i hear my door rattle at what-o-clock in the blasted night I will pull the almighty shotgun and fire one off.

We do not have elves we have 'douen ' and if you think you and your backwards foot go' be trekkin through my yard You had better have another thought I eh you blasted mother so you better get to steppin. I do not see why i should care that 'O Christmas Tree' came from Germany. The ones here are plastic... but folks lets get down to my gripe I think Santa is a commercial gimmick that represents a huge deception on adults part. While that is fine and dandy usually cuz lets face it: we lie to kids daily,its very easy and convenient to do. When I have to listen to you sing the virtues of your deception, i get pissed of. Do what you do just dont make a damn song and dance about it!!

to the drunken hearted

in the book of inebriation the wise slosh said:
though shalt not salute monday
you shall flip it the bird
hold friday sacred
and annoint it with the bastard's mudder's milk
embrace the clarity that comes with bacchus' logic
and accept the things that cannot be changed when the morning comes
let not dawn meet you
with a single care
or your other meet you
with your bottom bare

suck my sushi my football is better than urs!

ok lets celebrate! japan just kicked denmark's tail! whoa honda!!!!!!!!! as the lone trini supporter for the land of the rising sun i gotta jump here !
my other teams were argentina and brazil.
maradona could make any1 love the game and i dub him the master of the fieldside celebrations
so he may be lacking in the dignity of some of his sempais in the coachin' scene but he makes up for it in enthusiasm and passion!
i would have loved to see ronaldinho this time round but fans dont run the line up do they?
anyway. we've seen some major upsets this world cup.
france and italy have bid a sad sayonara to their fans but slovakia has been a major upsetter this time around.
keep ur fingers crossed and hold ur breath cuz this world cup looks to be one for the record books

cuz i felt like saying it

I live in the town of beautiful dreamers

And we all look up at the sky

In this city of angels we all

Wait for wings to fly

I live in the hope of believers

And in the sigh of every lie

In the morning

Lazy lover’s yawning

And in a newborn’s cry

and

In this city of angels we all wait

For wings to fly

So just jump

Hold your breath

But don’t wait any longer

Jump off

All that’s left-

Is what makes you stronger.

Or death

My friends wear pretty masks

Painted glittery

All staring at mirrors every day

And at pictures

of destiny

as our hands reach for the sky

Watching the birds pass

Us by

Touching a moment

Fleeting and wild

Waiting for wings to fly

its called high

ok so i beat my personal best of six beers without taking a piss.
i feel awesome, the truth is i'm ridiculously high.high like a butterfly in the sky -with pie-oh my! who's gonna cry -lol
drunken lol
dlol
wooooow
i are highhhhh <>
whatever any1 can score right now
but i'm home in my living room - so that's a no go
maybe i should hook up with my girls' friend but it wouldnt really matter cuz i'm bi huh?
wow i wonder what moms would say ?
she'd have a fittttttt
butttt thatz ok! smile