i really feel that i'm losing a best friend

she's ana . she has her life in order. she has a bf - she's smart and pretty and I can't tell her my life feels like it's crashing.

Our every conversation revolves around the BF - an entity I met only once but felt like I grew up with.

I'm not into hands on friendships where we talk everyday and stuff but sometimes I'd like her to know about me too.

My weight is spiraling thankz to a lack of self control coupled with idle days in the company of the parents.

I just feel so friggin ugly. It's frustrating when your own paranoia gets in the way of you living your life - though its not like I'd ever tell the people I need to tell, what I need to tell them ...

they say you don't know what life brings but for most of us its pretty predictable - and I've always been a good guesser.

We are growing apart - and it hurts like hell